Am I still a mom?

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I never thought I would start a blog. I am not a writer. But here I am. After 45 years, I’ve learned that things do change. Financial circumstances change. Social situations change. Values change. What I valued in my 20s is completely different than what I value now.  (Some peace and quiet. Am I right?)

When your kids are little, everyone says “Take it all in! Before you know it, they’ll be in college!” It turns out they were right. Time really does fly by.  And you are left with a lot of “what ifs”. 

I don’t have a lot of regrets. When I think about it, all of my choices have led me somewhere. And all of that leads to where I am right now. I am a happily married, middle-aged woman with four grown children. I have amazing friends that have been around for decades. We have a home. We have successful careers. What more could I want?

After 20 years of raising children, what do you do when they’re gone? Am I still a mother when they don’t need as much mothering? Am I still a mom when they are all adults? I definitely don’t feel like a “mommy” anymore.  I sometimes feel more like an advisor than a mother. Like my kids’ very own Google.

“Mom, how do I boil an egg?”

“Where do I put the stamp on this envelope?”

“Mom, what’s my Social Security Number?”

“How do I make a dentist appointment?”

This transition needs to be talked about more. There are lots of resources out there for new moms. But what about the no longer needed moms?