So what do you do when your college kids come home for the summer?
My twins are 19 years old and just came home after their first year in college. I didn’t go to traditional college. I didn’t go live in a dorm and have to come home for breaks. So this is a new thing for me. They’ve had this independence for nine months or so, and are used to their own schedules and their own wants and needs. Suddenly, they are both home and they’re not really adults, but they are not children anymore either. It’s definitely a learning curve. How do you balance the independence with the responsibilities of living at home during break?
I don’t let my twins just do whatever they want when they are home. They have responsibilities and chores that they must do on a weekly basis. Some are expectations that they have always had like washing the dishes, cleaning their room, etc. Other chores I pay for include managing the pooper scooper, mowing the yard, etc. Usually when they have their chores done, I let them do whatever they want. I understand it’s important for them to spend time with friends. It’s part of them growing up and leaving the nest.
When they go hang out with friends, I do require them to give me an idea of when they will be home. I’m not a stickler on the curfew like I was when they were in high school. Because they are adults now, right? Plans change right? I have taught my kids that it is all about communication. Communicate with me if you feel like you need more time. Communicate with me if your plans change. Communicate with me if you aren’t coming home when you thought. I just want to know that they are safe. That will never change even though they are adults. I will worry about them until the end of my days!
There are some days that we schedule as “family days”. These are days that no one makes plans. We spend these days together, sometimes working on a project or having fun. I try to get this day on the schedule, at least a month in advance so all the kids, including the ones that are gone from the house can come. This system works for us and if you want more details of how I do this, please feel free to send me a message.
